Absentia

Absentia

As the name suggests, I am referring to moments in your life when you do some activity with the presence of your mind in something else.

In that moment you are stuck in, there's no place else you'd rather be but in that memory or thought that makes you forget what you were doing in the first place. It is like a memory of the past, or your vision of future.

You aren't ready to decide how to settle that thought and get back to your task. That invariably is like a conscience that won't allow you to get forward without answering it.

And in those moments, do you wish that you would have changes something in the past, changed the moments you regret and which you realize only then. It is definitely the strike of conscience.

You feel you wouldn't have been so proud of a being and be that human that would just listen to your heart and do it.. Which could have changed the moments to come or the moments you have lived.

You can ignore it but then it gets stronger and comes back at you. I know there are always moments in each one of our lives when we wish we would have charged over the thin line of decision and made the right choice. That you wouldn't have lost someone or a part of you because of that.

People say live is short, but I think in those moments every minute is like a year!

Finally you give in, and say to yourself like that U2 song "you've got to get yourself together, now you're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it".

I felt what was important for me in those moments was to believe I have relived it the way I wanted to, because before you know it you can be pushed back from your present. Does it makes you feel pacified to rethink it, does it gives you a rekindled spirit to dream it the way you want to.

We are on a journey right now where meanings and reason fade away too quickly only to return at some later time. But until then as long you don't get too nostalgic and set your hearts in the right direction, it makes you liberated.

It gives you a power over your soul, to control it in the right direction this time, and till the time has come for answers to all the ongoing riddles of life, you get the power you need to move forward.

Never move on from the things you love the most.